Gaining someone's trust is easy. But once it is broken, it can never be mended back to its perfect shape. Just like glass, once it is broken, no matter how hard you tried to glue it back. It just imperfect with crack lines. Unless miracle happened.
I hate the feeling of fear of losing someone whom I love dearly. This feeling of insecurity and being over paranoid was really killing me everyday. It's not that I don't want to trust him or I don't love him anymore. It's because I just can't control my brain and that fear in me. That wounded heart kept reminding me of the pain that I had gone through.
Meeting someone at the wrong time, wrong place but so deeply in love with one, is a torture.
We decided to end this torture and move on with our life. At least we tried our best to love each other. That should holds no regret in our life, I hope so.
Sometimes, something is just not meant to be.
I really hope I have that courage to get over this pain.
Once again, being hurt again.
This time round it felt like I fell from Heaven to Hell. It's so painful and hard to pick myself up again.
How many times do I have to go through this in my life?
Whenever I thought I found the one, when I commit myself to him, nothing turns out good.
I remember you used to ask me " Why do all your exs breaks your heart? What's wrong with them or what's wrong with you? "
I guess, now you know the reason better than I do. Because, you guys don't truly love me.
You guys' love for me is superficial (appearance,body, just for fun and nothing serious)
But, do you guys know that I committed myself fully to each relationship?
I guess I had enough of all these superficial and fake love relationship.
I HAD ENOUGH !!!!
You guys are not gonna have any more chance to hurt me.
I would live my life of how I want it to be. No one is gonna take that away and hurt me no more.
It's been ages! Since the last time I touched on this dear snail blog of mine! Until someone told me that he found my blog! My ultimate stalker, I don't even remembered I have it! Lolx!
Was reading through what I had written on the experiences and moments I had in the past, feeling kinda of silly. Hahahaha!!! But I really miss those days!!! So much freedom and a carefree life! All I need to worried was just exams and projects deadlines.
It's been about 6 years since the last post on this blog. 6 years! WOW! Hui Hong! How have you been? I would use 3 words to describe, "Unpredictable", "Stronger" and "Thankful".
"Unpredictable" Life is so unpredictable! My life for the past 6 years did not go according to my plan, but it's ok. As it turns out to be better now, God is working on it :) Praise the Lord!
Many negative things happened during these 6 years, taught me lots of lessons in life. I once came across this quote " In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson." This so true to me.
These lessons were painful and torturing. BUT good thing is, it's all over !!!!
"Stronger" Yes! I become stronger and discovered that I'm actually much more stronger than I thought ! I mean mentally...hahahaha! (Still working on the physical fitness though)These obstacles and lessons molded me to be more resilient and more positive to all kinds of problem and situations that been thrown to me.
"Thankful" I always believe that people came into our life for a reason.
I'm thankful to people who came and left my life and people who stay by me always.
People who came and left, thank you for the negatives you brought upon me. Because you taught me to be smarter, stronger and letting me know the cruelty of this society.
People who stay by me always, you are the ones who I really love and appreciate very much!!! You know who you are :) My family, my girlfriends,my best friends.
Chinese saying 血浓于水 (xue nong yu shui) - Blood is thicker than water. I really would totally understand how it feels now, no matter what trouble I got myself into, family is the one who never stop loving and care me for once. Yes, we fight, we rattled, we complained. But after all, nothing would break that love they have for me and I would do the same for them.
Friends! In our entire life, we might have many friends, hundreds or even thousands! But if you wanna count the true friends in your life, maybe there is only 1,5,10 or none!
I'm thankful that I have a bunch of loyal and true friends around me:) You know who you are! And you know I love you all!!! :D Without you guys, I wouldn't be able to survive till today I guess. Hahaha! Thanks for being my listening ears, thanks for letting me cry on your shoulders and hugs. Thanks for being angry together with me because of some nonsense people from my past. Thanks for seeing me through all my tough times and scolding me to wake me up from my native thinking.
Words can't express how much gratitude I had for you guys. THANK YOU!!!! MUACKSSSS~~~~!!!!!
Alright!!! enough of the past!!! let's talk about the future! :D
Looking through the last 6 years, I'm glad I'm still that Hui Hong I used to be!
My love for outdoor adventures!!! OMG! Still can't accept the fact that I'm a certified Open Water Diver now!!! Wooohooo!!! This is really an achievement for me! Since young, I'm been so afraid of being drowned in the pool! Even when I grew up now, I can tell you that I'M STILL AFRAID OF BEING DROWNED IN THE POOL! Whenever I go swimming in the pool, I would only swim by the side of the pool where my hands are within the reach of the tiles, in case I drowned. Hahahaha! So passing this Open Water Diving Course was really a great challenge in my life! And I'm glad and proud that I made it!!! :)) Thankful to the great and patient instructors from DiveVenture! You guys made my first diving experience at Tioman Island awesome! :D
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My Dive Buddy !!! :) |
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| Group Photo! Thank you All! :)) |
Other than diving, I been climbing mountains too! First mountain in my life is Mount Kinabalu in Malaysia, Sabah!!! Did not do much training before the climb, didn't know what to expect too.I overcome my physical tiredness and mental stress with a couple of church friends, together we made it!! The view along the way and at the peak is simply breathtaking and amazing!!! God is Great!!
Sunset at Base Camp!
At the Peak!
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| Muay Thai Kick on the way down! hahahaha! Kidding! Just posing !!! |
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We did our Ferrata down to base camp!! Super Fun and Exciting! |
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| Our Coolest and Strongest Mountain Guide! He is carrying 5 bags down!!! |
Second mountain in my life, Mount Agung in Indonesia, Bali Island !!! As usual, I did not train for the climb! lolx! Serve me right with all the aches all over my whole body after the climb. This is the first volcanic mountain that I climbed! Didn't know the soil is so damn loose! Can't even use a trekking pole! Any where you put the pole on, the soil just slides downwards -_-'''' Nevertheless! The view along the way up did not disappoint me at all!!! It's just simply beautiful ! Words can't describe it's beauty, photos do! so look down for photos!!! :))
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| At the Submit!!! |
Definitely will have more adventures to come with my special someone!!! :D Now I have been up a mountain, down to the deep blue sea, soooo......next up, fly in the sky! Yeah!!!!! :D
